If you’re here, chances are you know what it’s like to feel sandwiched between the expectations of family or community and your personal desires. Or maybe you have a hard time even knowing what you like because you’ve had a map laid out for you from the beginning. Even if you didn’t hear it directly from your own parents, you may have had a looming voice in your head about how you should act and who you should be. If you’re a parent yourself, you may have observed everyday parenting challenges leave you feeling frustrated, confused, ashamed, and lonely. Even when you are dutiful, maybe you still can’t shake the feeling of emptiness or disconnection. It’s painful when you feel like you can’t be yourself around your family without suffering their rejection.
Family Therapy
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Disconnection Can Show Up Like…
Crippling Anxiety- every choice seems to carry an immense impact. So everyday choices may feel too risky or like life and death.
Depressed Mood- low and hopeless as if you’re trapped in a joyless life that you have no control over.
Shame- you may feel like you’re bad or worthless and need to hide your true self.
Resentment- you may find yourself angry with others and blame them for problems in your life.
Dissociation & Numbness- you might not feel able to name your feelings or find you go through life feeling like you’re not really in your body
Chronic Pain & Health Issues- high levels of stress and cortisol can manifest as health problems and often when you’re stuck difficult life patterns, doctor visits and self care may be last on your priority list, further exacerbating illness and pain.
Sound Like You?
Common Challenges
Role Reversals- perhaps you were a parentified child and took up significant and frequent responsibility for things typically handled by adults like offering emotional support to your parent, managing the household tasks with little or no support, needing to source food and necessities, and raising younger siblings.
Lack of Emotional Support- you may notice that you lacked understanding and comfort from your parents or caregivers when you felt sad, mad, anxious, or overwhelmed. As an adult you may notice you have trouble knowing what to do to support your loved ones or handle ruptures in your relationships when they happen.
Resentment- you may notice that you take up responsibilities that aren’t yours and you don’t feel able to communicate your needs or feelings. You’re afraid of the response you or the impact you’ll have if you do voice your needs. When you choose to stuff it down, you’re crippled with overwhelm.
In-Law Dynamics- when marriages happen, there are a lot of assumptions. If you’re fortunate, there’s also a lot of benefit of the doubt given and flexibility about differences from each family. Otherwise, you may experience the roller coaster of anxiety, disappointment, and disconnection of unmet (sometimes unspoken) expectations of family. His parents expected Christmas to be spent at your husband’s childhood home every year. Your parents expected a phone call or visit with the kids every week. You’re stressed and exhausted thinking about being together.
Cultural and Value Differences- it drives you crazy that your family member(s) believe or vote differently than you because it represents values you abhor or traditions you don’t want to hold onto. When you voice disagreement they panic and assault you with opinions. When they voice their opinions, you don’t have much patience either and you wonder how you’re supposed to keep a relationship at all.
Consequences of Avoidance
Avoiding problems in your family’s dynamics may feel easier in the moment, but over time tension increases and builds mistrust, anxiety, and resentment. After some time, things that didn’t bother you before might become big burdens. Small disagreements can feel heavier than they are because of the history behind them. Family members may begin to misinterpret each other’s actions or withdraw emotionally, leading to disconnection instead of closeness. Patterns of avoidance also teach younger family members that conflict is unsafe or unsolvable, shaping how they handle relationships outside the family as well. While avoidance may temporarily preserve peace, it ultimately prevents growth, healing, and the chance to create healthier, more authentic bonds.
Benefits of Family Therapy
Family therapy can be a meaningful way for families to slow down conflict and reconnect. It gives everyone a chance to share their perspective in a safe space where each voice matters. When getting stuck in old patterns or misunderstandings, therapy helps families learn new ways to talk and listen to each other. It’s not just about working through current challenges—it’s also about building stronger bonds, creating more trust, and feeling more supported at home. For many families, it becomes a place to rebuild trust, clarify boundaries, and nurture the kind of relationships that feel safe, respectful, and supportive.
Who You’re Working With
Hi, I’m Priscilla- I’m a wife, a mom to a preschooler, and an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. I grew up in the Bay Area in a Chinese church community, worked in my family’s business, and now spend my days walking alongside people as they navigate life’s ups and downs.
I’ve always desired to love my people well- I lived and worked alongside family a long time. It gave me a sense of purpose. In my context, though, I somehow came to believe that in order to honor my family, I would have to shrink myself.
While intending to care better for others, I ended up hyper-focused on monitoring myself. That meant that internal shame and judgement became my closest companion. I learned to read between the lines of every interaction with people or my environment to make sure I knew what was needed to do “good” things and make others comfortable and happy.
The problem is that this kind of caring often results in making assumptions about needs and expectations that don’t exist. Even when expectations from others are present, it becomes easy to forget ones own needs. In turn, it becomes a breeding ground for resentment and leads to disconnection from oneself and others.
Before I knew it, I wasn’t sure what I wanted, where I started, and where I ended. But my own therapeutic journey (individual and family btw!) led me to a place where I had to confront my fears, assumptions, and shame. I had to take ownership of the permission I already had to take up a little more space.
I found that nurturing my own sense of self was an integral part of living life aligned with my values and connecting better with loved ones.